Thin people who bully.
If you want to gorge guilt free, stay away from those "naturally Slender" people who are relentlessly dull at all-you-can-eat buffets. You know the ones, the picky eaters who can control with such ease how much they eat. The people who when presented at a huge buffet of gorgeous selections, manage to pick only the smallest healthiest morsel and then glide effortlessly to their seat, which you hope is nowhere near yours.
You sit with your plate loaded with things you would never afford to buy normally, roast duck, canopes, a mountain of the finest sliced beef and some weird thing you can't actually name, and then it happens. As you are about to get stuck in, sliding into the seat opposite is a person who looks like they have just selected dinner for their budgerigar, who then proceeds to eat their budgies dinner at the slowest pace imaginable whilst engaging you in conversation about where you plan to go on holiday this summer.
They of course will be going somewhere tropical, where they only ever seem to get enough sun exposure to look "sun kissed" and arrive home peeling like a burnt leper, they never get into fights with taxi drivers and beggars and they make everything look so effortless. Without even looking at their guidebook, they always manage to find the best places to visit and to eat, never experience harassment in moving from A to B and in all, make the whole thing look effortless.
They were the child at school who never got bullied, never got into trouble, never cried, they got got picked last, suffered anxiety attacks or ADHD and they left education for a perfect job that they enjoy having never been emotionally wounded by the whole school experience. Their parents were nice and their house seemed to terribly clean and tidy.
They were the kids that left you wondering just on earth how they managed it.
And now they gracefully sit opposite you as you attempt to gorge yourself before heading back to the spread for more sliced beef, free wine and gateaux.
This is of course the very worst kind of bullying. It is silent, unspoken and terribly pleasant and nice.
Best thing you can do is go and sit somewhere else and eat in noisy peace.
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